My constant struggles

There are times in my life where I feel that I have zero control over my actions. This is especially true in regards to finances. I know many of my close friends and family will disagree with me and point out how I am often going out of my way to save a dollar here and there but there are times when I just give in. Usually I am alright when left alone but whether influenced by family, friends or simply the urge to "treat" myself I tend to find myself giving in to purchases I never intended to buy.

As I stated earlier, many of my friends and family feel that I'm "lucky" to have a nice job and get quite annoyed that I don't just go around and buy every little impulse purchase that I want. They also seem to have little sympathy when I feel guilty for buying things I don't necessarily want.

While I do try to be good I am, of course, imperfect and I do give in to purchases that amount to either status symbols or to clutter. They tend to break down into two major categories:

Impulse Buys: These are small and on their own aren't really all that bad. For example I spent $10 on this last weekend at a yard sale on a box full of collector's glasses with various characters on them. When I first checked them out I wanted to just get the two Pacman ones for my vintage gaming collection. Yet the allure of having a whole pile of McDonalds glasses and my dad talking to the lady to get a huge discount. While some collectors may say I got them at a good price, I really have no use for them and quite frankly are going out at our next tag sale.

Status Symbols: A year ago I bought a new car. My 98 Cavalier needed serious repairs and it was frankly starting to fall apart. While I suppose I could've fixed it I was afraid of it being a money sink. So I replaced one bad money put with another. I bought a brand new car when I could've bought a perfectly reliable used car for a third of what my "econo" Elantra cost. Yet I felt that with my new job I deserved a brand new car. Because of that, I'm keeping this car until the wheels fall off.

New Toys: A week or so ago I bought a digital SLR. Once upon a time I was seriously considering a career in photography. Since unfortunately the market of photographers is so flooded and I didn't want to be a portrait photographer I ended up back in the tech world. In my college days I would choot at least one 36 exposure roll of slides a week. Now I'm lucky if I get a roll shot every month or so. Besides, I prefer my folding and twin lens cameras so buying a digital SLR was simply a new toy that would collect dust. Luckily the day after receiving it I realized my folly and sent it back for a refund. Now I can buy a digicam for when I want a quick digital or something to carry in my pocket.

So as you can see it's a constant struggle to keep my spending under control. I guess all I can say is that I just need to watch myself a bit more.